A little OCD, a lot celiac

The year was 2013 CE.

The apartment was tiny.

The Milch family—all 3.33 of them—moved west to seek their fortunes.

Michael, the patriarch, dreamt of becoming a pro surfer/platinum-selling recording artist, while Charlotte, the mom, wanted to use her experience as a secret government contractor to set up and ultimately double cross a local biker gang. (For their parts, one of the children hoped to watch goddamn Elmo for the eight-millionth time, and the other looked forward to finishing gestation.)

Well, all those dreams came true, so it was on to new challenges—like celiac disease.

The worst part of celiac disease, Michael found, was all of it. There were the physical symptoms, sure, but just as difficult was no longer being able to eat his favorite gluten-y foods. (Sidebar: why is he still writing this in the third person?)

A few years went by—years spent eating the sorts of awful baked goods you probably imagine when you hear the term ‘gluten-free baked goods’. It was all just too much. Michael needed tastier refined carbohydrates.

So he started baking again, bit by bit. And as he went along, he realized, holy crap, it’s vanishingly few products that can’t be made well gluten free. A COVID layoff and months of recipe development later, Salty Bagel was born.

Holy shit, good for you for making it all the way through this.